The aftermath

The bloodthirst is quenched
The sanguine is gone
Now's the time for peace
for love, for me.
But wait, why the silence?
Where are the shouts of joy?
Where are the drums of parade?
Where are the children laughing?
Where are the people dancing?
Where?
A question comes to my mind
Is this the real peace?
or just a period between
two turmoils.
I feel sorry,
for the children who became orphan,
for the women who became widow,
for fathers & husbands,
who died in vain,
died for nothing.
The turmoil again begins
The sanguine again starts.
The time is not right,
for love, for peace,
for me. So, we leave now.
Bye. 

-Jan 24,2001

River

They say I am silent
They say I am calm
They only see the surface
they fail to see what lies beneath

emotions rise
feelings swell
turmoils unfold
how I contain them
nobody knows

Like a river I am
Calm above
currents sweeping underneath
People take me
for what I am not
People see me a river
Calm on the surface
but they don't know
the turbulence below.

Private Feelings

Don't probe me
Neither try to comfort me
Feelings I have are
mine and mine alone.
Don't say lets share
for they are not to be shared.
Don't say it'll lighten my heart
for they are mine to carry
forever and ever.
Don't probe me a
neither try to get to my
feelings
coz' they are mine
let them die with me
They are private feelings
let them die with me.

-April 4,2002

I and this drama called 'life'

As I reach my seat
The curtains part
Amongst the claps
the drama starts

The plot is interesting 
and the act lifelike
But the characters don't move
Neiter they speak nor act.
Yet they hurt each other.
Yet they kill each other.
The more I watch;
The more I understand.
The characters aren't fictious 
neither made up.
They are here with us
if we know where to seek.
They are here with us
if we know how to see.

I feel I'm like them
a statue yet a heartless machine
I want to run, I want to hide.
To my horror, I find I can't.
Then I realise,
I'm one of them
a statue yet a heartless machine.

I can't stand it any longer
I can't bare to watch.
I want to shut down my eyes,
Yet I can't.
Then I realise,
I'm also the audience
And I have to watch.
Whether I like it or not,
I have to watch.

-April 5,2002

Fear

I am afraid
for love and life.
I am afraid
for country and friends
Help them not me.

For myself,
I am not afraid.
Why should I be, I don't know
For I am
already dead.

Freedom

in the emptiness of space
in the vastness of oceans
travel i want to
travel to the end
bound to a pole i have been
all my life
shackeled my ankles have been
all my life
break those bonds
break those shackles
I am tired of being bound
i am tired of being tied
free me
free my soul
and let it fly
bring me those horizons
where my soul flies
bring me those frontiers
where my heart lies

Hesitation

In your arms, I find peace
In your eyes, I find tranquility
In your words, I find wisdom.
In your company, I find happiness.
Everything I require,
I find in you.
Joy, love, peace, happiness.
Everything lies there
Waiting
For me to
reach out and ask
But I hesitate, I don't know why
I know I love you
And you love me too.
But I still hesitate.
Tell me why.
Pray, tell me why.

-Oct. 11,2001